HaPpY New YeAr!!!!

yet another year...
yet
new hopes...
new dreams...
new aspirations...
new faiths...
new inspiration...
new beliefs...
new thoughts...
new aims...
new passion...
new goals....
so as to say new year brings new responsibilities and new reasons to strive and survive and to run after your dreams and fulfill al ur ambitions.....n make all wishes come true..
heres wishing all of you happy new year and all the best...
god bless!!!

Life!!!

To Live and let live is the second best thing in the world.....

But

To live and enjoy is the best!!!!!

Fantasy World!!!

I was living in a fantasy world....
n when i broke the walls of illusion the light of truth was so strong that i had to close my eyes n
tears ran down my cheeks.....

PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS...

Wish there was even a single person who could really understand me..or is it that I have some sort of problem thats y everyone refuses to understand me...I want to share my heart out...but with whom........
I wish of all the friends I have, there was even a single frnd who cud share my burden...I wish my mum could understand me n cuddle me...I wish my husband could understand the real deep down inside of me..but alas! The world is moving so fast no one has time for me. to stop by my side and help me outa this blue- grey mood of mine...looking back I realize I was someone always loved and cared for...have I changed or has the world changed...

I want a break...want to go n fly in open..want to enjoy and get away with all that has happened in the past...I want to b alone and explore the world..I want to b alone with my self...

I want to b me....the sweet n innocent me...that I was....I want to be happy...happy...wat is happiness...happiness comes when we r with our loved ones..but when loved ones flunk 2 love u then what.....why is every one so busy.. have people forgot what love is or they pretending not to know...have my frnds forgot what frndship is..or have they forgot me...or is it that m really busy n I think vise verse..

whatever it is...is making me insane .. demented ..and at the same time arrogant...my mood swings will swing me some day...

m confused...help me oh god...to find the pursuit...the pursuit of happiness...

BEST BRIDE....

I still don’t believe...it seems like a dream...

It was on the 25th of April...I was busy in the office...that outa the blue my fone started ringing...I was like gosh. This fone of mine can never stop ringing. And as if people get ideas that im in middle of sum work that they disturb me...finally got my hands on the fone under the papers on my desk.. Without having a look on my fone I attended the cal n said hello in not so polite way...n hello meri jaan came a sweet voice n I forgot what I was doing n the caller was none other than my mum...n not to my surprise but shock my mum was like im thinking of getting Ur younger sis engaged..I had a loud laugh On this....

I said: mum u need to grow up...im so busy in office n do u really think this is the right time to crack a joke...although nice joke but wrong timing....

Mum: do u think im a fool I would disturb u at this time to crack a joke...Im serious...Im thinking of this since pretty long time...and I have short listed a guy...

Me: shortlisted a guy. hahahaha... Maaa. do u know her age...she is s kid...

Mum: 4 u.n btw do u know her age...she is well matured to get engaged at least.

Me: maa give her some time...and on top of that u say u have some 1 in Ur mind. I flunk to understand...

Mum: flunk to understand what baby...u'll never understand. She is of the rite age...May b a yr or so less...but this time the guy is really gud. Moreover she is ready..

Me: she is ready.4 what. did u speak to her...
Mum: yes i did...

me: hahahahah... c i told u she is a kid. Otherwise she wud b knowing this is not the right time to get engaged...

Mum: she is mature n u acting like a kid...this is end of discussion...and if u wanna know about the guy..most welcome otherwise im also busy...

Me:ok temme everything in detail....

Mum:ok listen his name is Nayeem...

me: Nayeem...old fashioned name...(I wanted to end this topic here only as I seriously thought she is tooooooooo young 4 al this...)

mum: now listen...he is working in Dubai in a bank...
n on n on n on went my mum...about him, about his family n all...

In the whole conversation I was trying to figure out 1 point against them so that I can just save my sis.... I was serious about her being young...

When mum hanged up the fone the first thing I did was I called my said n enquired if she was happy n ready 4 al this...to my utter surprise she was...

At this time I made my mind to go with the flow because I thought whatever happens she will always remain younger to me n it will always remain in the back of My mind that she is younger to me...

The guy is in Dubai n she is in Delhi. Means they won’t get to meet...but they figured outa way...they called each other n exchanged the pix n did video chatting...

N finally both of them said yes......a yes......u know...

Means my naughty lil sis is going to b a bride soon...bride. I still don’t believe this. I still remember her playing hide n seek n teacher teacher...n her fighting with me..n her all lil things and my running after her...she would never study without me by her side. And would make fun of me at the end..
On every of my special occasion she would not gift me a gift but would in turn demand a gift for herself..

Finally the date was fixed for them to get engaged…10may..
10th of may was the day for my nautanki baaz lil sis to b a bride.. aaaaaaaa..
I was nervous I was excited I was on the cloud 9..
I was so busy preparing for the engagement…I wanted not even a single stone just to b left unturned…I was busy shopping for her dress her jewelery and yet managing my office…I was in constant touch with my parents to see that all the preparations are going well on their side…

Getting a day off from office was pain in the neck…somehow managed to.. Had no other option…The occasion was worthwhile taking all the pains..

Saturday I flied to my home town after office.. Reached home… so much work was pending… and with a nice excuse my mother said we were waiting for you to do all this so that u don’t blame us if I don’t like it…

Blame them.. Please it was already 7pm…when was I supposed to do it…and when was I supposed to attend the mehndi function… I had directly come from office and then the flight had also been delayed.. I was tired.. “Still anything for my sister…”

I don’t think even my sis was so eager to see her would be husband as I was to meet him…
The day was Sunday and we were supposed to meet in a hotel at 3pm… I Guess I was supposed to take care of my sister and see that she is looking beautiful.. Her makeup is done perfectly.. But I was busy with mine.. I had to look good aswell… There were so many cousins and frnds around my sister so I thought it is better I mind my business and look that my husband is comfortable…

Everyone got ready and left for the hotel… We were waiting for the groom and his family at the reception only.

And ………………..

And……………………..

Here they were…my jiju… Dressed up in a black suit…looking perfect.. with his innocent smile on his face…

I was relaxed… he was good looking, down to earth ,Caring, honest,.....over all a "nice guy"…
That was the time I was fully satisfied… because down in the heart of hearts I was a bit scared.

The function went well.. And everyone was happy..

I wish both of them a very happy life...love u both....

A WISH - TO FLY....

There is a feeling deep down inside...

to become what i once was...

The smal inocent girl..

and to roam around..

Almost everywhere...

and fly without my wings.....

To do all the mischief

yet not b yelled at..

and still loved and cared...

Some jus written quotes!!!

To DREAM big is no crime....
BUT
not to fulfill your dreams is!!!!

For the world it might be a big thing...
but for me it is just the beginning of a big thing...

The freak he is to have the cheek to seek the help of a geek..

To think of U and to miss U
is all that i do...
To love U and to Kiss U
is all that i want to do..
All that i want is YOU!!!

A true person is one who learns from his mistakes
but a person who commits same mistake again and again is
no person....

There are things and expectation which ought to be fulfilled but need to be understood first...
but alas! they laughed at saying "mood swing"...

The problem is not big
unless u give up trying...

THE DANCER........

A Sweet inocent girl full of dreams, a dancer by choice thinks nothing else but dancing..whenever she is sad she dances,whenever she is free she dances, when ever she is happy she dances..when ever she feels low she dances, whenever she is appriciated for somthing she dance...
She always dances her heart out..She doesnt know anything else but dance..She thinks she is born to dance..She cannot do any other work with such perfection... She is a dancer and dances thats all...

Priya is the name kept by her parents and "Priya - the dancer" by her friends..

It was early november and she was getting ready for a dance performance when Puneet - the journalist droped in to take her interview along with his friend Gaurav...

On meeting Priya, Gaurav was taken a back seat...He could not stop admiring priya's beauty...He couldnt stop falling for her..and when he saw her dancing he had no doubt about his love for her...

After that day they regularly met and spend some quality time with each other...talking to each other..sharing their life with each other..they were so deep in love that the world around them seemed meaning less..

Now priya was busy dancing and gaurav admiring her, rest of the time they were together talking, making love and dreaming..

One day gaurav could not hide his guilt and had to confess that he was already married for 2 years now...

The pain was too high for priya to bear..Without a word she left him and left him for ever...The tears in her eyes took the soul out of gaurav's body..He cheated priya broke her heart made her cry...

For next 2 weeks gaurav couldnt do any thing except regretting..till he saw priya in a market place with her husband...She was already MARRIED 4 quite some time....

THE INCOMPLETE STORY..

Every morning starts with a new hope ,
Every nite ends with a new dream,
Every second i thnk about you,
Every minute i see ur face,
Every ray of sun brings ur imagination,
& every moonlight ur hopes,
Every sparkle of water reminds me of ur eyes,
& every swift air ur smile,

With every breath i smell ur fragnance ,
Every sound complez me to believe you are coming,
Every moment of clock counts ur absence,
& every drop of tear ur feeling,
Every beat of heart thnks about you,
N every incomplete story resembles our Story..

Him....

It was the time i saw him 4 the first time...the First time some guy caught my eye..The first time i couldnt take my eyes off him...the first time i froze and wanted the time to freeze...

It was his eyes..deep of thoughts, ambitions and aspirations...It was his smile that said a 100 words without moving his lips..It was his shining face the face that cannot be forgot and remembered for a life time..his marvellous personality..the world in itself...

I saw him for the first time in a mall...with thousands of people aound me...i was still..only my eyez moving with evey move of his..he laughed..he giggled..he shoped and then he left..and i didnt see him ever after that...and since that day could sleep either...the proper sleep i missed...

Every day i close my eyes his picture comes in front of my closed eyes..Every time i open them his fantastic figure would dance in front of me...in both the cases he was with me day and night...
And again i saw him after 3 long long years...3 years not a single second i could forget him...3 years i prayed 4 him before praying 4 my well bein..3 years hoping to get a single glimps of his...3 years wishing to be with him where ever i go and what ever i do..3 years wanting all the time to be with him ..3 years ....

And there he was in front of me again...and i decided finally i'l go to him and speak with him...didnt want to loose him this time..didnt want to suffer for 3 more years..didnt want to curse my self standing still..didnt want to void my life again..with all my cheek i slowly walked with baby steps towards him...my hope in my heart and prayers on lips..the distance between us seemd more than i imagined..and there he was standing in front of me..as if waiting..waiting 4 me...i wished...and eyes locked at him and feet moving towards him..in this 2 min walk i imagined my world with him..me in his arms..him all round me..

My life, his life... - - - our life....

In a fraction of a second from no where a lady in red came and huged him..he had got married..and broke my heart for ever..am still struggling with myself trying to forget the person who never knew me at all..Still meant my world...

THE DRIVE THAT DROVE ME CRAZY!!

THE DRIVE THAT DROVE ME CRAZY!!!

I always dreamt of a guy..(luks no preference)the only thing that is important is his nature..finally v ought to live with the nature of the person and not the looks...One day i was planin my day out with my sis n my cousin n had to leave 4 my hostle the very next day...when my mum came in my room n said u not going anywhere which came as a surprise to me...n the surprise was followed by a shock when my mother said a guy is comin 2 c u today 4 the marriage stuff...i was taken back...mariage..no i have not even thought of it yet...marriage is no option on my mind...but when my cousins n sis insisted i was ready to meet him with the idea that i'l definitely say no even if hez the best guy i always carved for...I got dressed in a very simple way wanted to be my real self...with out any make up n made up...

Finally the clock struk 3 the time when we were supposed to meet and had to go to a near by shrine..my elder sis n my younger brother were with me...

When i steped outa my home i couldnt believe i was so nervous that i couldnt even walk properly...(the fact is i dont know how to walk still this time it was worse)....
I had already taken a promise from my sis that i wont talk to him in private..u know i was not willin to get engaged in any sort of relation when i was so busy with my studies..wanted to devote all the time to my studies..

Finally the guy was in front of me..he was tall...good lukin..healthy guy..the thing i liked most was that he was fair..fair skined..wow..but then he was healthy..or else in other words can say hez fat..

N What i hear he wants to talk to me alone is normal and my sister said yes...but she promised me..with a blink of eye and an innocent face she softly said plz...plz go...

And we went for a drive...a drive of a life time..a drive i can never forget...

The first thing he asked me was about my school..whr i have done my schoolin from..n than do i know cookin n can i speak kashmiri...he gave a short intro of himself..although i was not impressed..(to impress me is a tough job in itself) i was told he has done masters but he was simple graduate...haa...graduate..i wanted my man to b very intelectual...actually to be everythin i'm not..like fair..that he was but intelectual cannot be measured by his dergee so ok..will do...He asked me about the last movie i watched and if i will want to get settled in kashmir at any point of time..i didnt want to but luck u cannot challenge so i didnt argue..any how i was about to say no..afterall that is what i had decided...

While coming back he said hez fine with me and will be lookin forward to spend the life with me..oh god please...but then i was lil happy..and to be honest with the honest guy i said need some time to think over...

We were back..met his mum..n went to my sis..told her he is good but i dont want to get married yet...the answer was given by my brother one day or the other u have to get married then why not now..But then hez fat i argued..tell me about his nature ammy..face is no issue i'l ask him to loose weight for u..said my sis..
Ammy: I cannot decided n judge him in 10 mins drive...
sis: This ih how u ought to do in arranged marriage...like a gamble u have to play..win n lose is upto almighty Allah..
Ammy: Ok atleast u can gimmi sum time to think ova..lets go home n talk..sis:Thatz better...
On the road side was the guyz mother happy n excited..n said its a yes from our side...it didnt make much diference to me i knew the answer..he had told me this before hand...:):)

Finally we went back home..everyone was waitin for us there..my uncles aunts grandfather/mother cousins..the place was full of relatives in short..n my sister shouted mubarak..mubarak...

Everyone started shaking hands and hugging each other...but i didnt say yes i believe..wat is this mubarak stuff all about...but then i was happy to c everyones bright faces and the sparkin smiles..

My father came to me n asked me u think over it again take your time there is no pressure, give your answer when u ready n i said no dad..i dont need time im ready..hes good..

OFFICE.....

Finally i got to join back aftr 1 and a half months break...god i was nervous yet excited...i was goin to meet my colleague's n friends.. my desk my system after such a long time...the NDTV MEDIA office after all.. u know...in the mornin i dont know how but i woke up on time with out alarm..cant just believe it me wakin up at 7:30 n that too without alarm..the only thing i hate about office is wakin up early...got myself ready...n u know m blessed with such a sweet hubby who always helpz me with my work...thats how i got ready on time..n left 4 office...office being so far away takes more than an hour to reach...n such worse traffic....aaa...i really wanted 2 b in office on time...joinin aftr such a long time n being late...naah...not fair...

Sum how managed to reach on time...leavin home at 8:20 n reached office at 9:35..xact on time..if i would b late jus by 1 min..9:36 means m late 4 the day..n will show late in my muster...imagine...but coudnt leave ma place before 8:20..chalo..finally all is well that ends well..the truth is that m on time...on d 1st day of office...yipee....

Slowly i went 2 my floor..the 2nd floor where the operations team sit...n said a soft hi to every1...n there comes the shouts n screams...hi..hey...hello...finally u bk..welcome n all...i was so happy 2 c every1z reactions...chalo gud means every missed me...i shake hands with every1 n hugged the girls...oh 1 good news now nidhi sits next to me..means i can easily chit chat with her...n now shauray will me sitin at nidhis place...kooooollllll.....

N What i c...a surprise theres no system on my desk...hey plz i'm still employee of ndtv media....i called up the IT guy..told him m back n want a system...cant control myself.want my hands on the keybord..after all thatz my first love...COMPUTER n WRITIN... in less than an hour i got my system..n this time with speakers...hurray......

So the whole day i was filterin my mails n getin involved in the work again....n hey its already 7...the day is ova...wow...

Here comes my hubby dear to pick me up....aggain the borin drive but when its with burhan its always the best drive of my life...inspite of all the "tu -tu mein-mein" went to big apple to buy everythin v get our hands on xcept apple...n then to more...to get more of vat v missed at big apple....

and home v reached all exausted..at 9:30...n these 62 stairs get the f**kin hell outa me when m damn tired.....n finally home sweet home...

LOVE!!!!!

LOVE....
The word love is sumthing of which the meanin in the dictionary cannot describe it...Love is a feelin deep dowm inside that can be felt only by the person in love..an emotion that can quinch ur inner soul..
No1 in the world can teach u love..no single person can understand your love..its wholly and soly u who can understand the depth of love...
Its an ocean..the earth below you the sky above u...its the only thing that drives u crazy when u know u crazy n u still like being crazy...
Love makes u laugh and cry at the same time...
Love makes u active and lazy at the same time...
Love teaches u the esence of life...love make life worth living..
Love doesnt allow u to sleep yet u want to sleep to dearm about your love..

Love..u foollll... if dictionary cannot describe the meanin how can i....